Assertiveness as an essential communication skill for a manager

Assertiveness is a way of saying “no.” Assertiveness is also, the ability to express our feelings, thoughts and also the ability to ensure that our rights are respected without violating the rights of others.[1] Assertiveness can be acquired, learned, it is not a personality trait that we are born with.

As people, understoods as part of society, we differ from each other in many characteristics, including the way we interact with others. Our professional, private life largely depends on the behavior of the people with whom we work, live. So, from an early age we learn social coexistence (kindergarten, school) this skill is influenced by the interactions and behaviors of other people in the social group in which we find ourselves. Experiences and skills acquired at each stage are an indicator of the level at which a particular individual functions in business and life situations. Experiences and actually acquired competencies give us the ability to function effectively, to act in professional and private situations.

In order to be able to consider whether, in fact, assertiveness can be considered an essential communication skill for a manager, it is first necessary to know what assertiveness itself is.

Quite often we hear that assertiveness, is the ability to say the word “no”, the topic does not end there. This does not refer only to the ability to communicate your refusal, being assertive is a set of qualities by which we do not give in to others. It doesn't just close with when we explain to children not to take anything from suspicious people, or being able to explain why they don't want to take psychoactive substances, even though they are persuaded by their peers, who explain that it will be “cool.”

Assertiveness is a typically social behavior. There is no person who is consistently assertive in every situation. A person may have assertive behavior to his children in one situation, and passive behavior to others.

From an encyclopedic point of view, assertiveness is “the ability to express one's own feelings, opinions, desires to others in an adequate and fearless manner, while respecting the feelings, attitudes desires of others.”[1]

“Assertiveness is the ability to take care of one's own rights, but without violating the rights of others. Assertiveness is pursuing one's own needs firmly but without aggression. Assertive communication, on the other hand, is the communication of thoughts, feelings or intentions in personal, professional and social interactions, in a clear and open manner, without fear or anger, but with respect for one's own dignity, but also with respect for the partner involved in the communication

The concept of assertiveness assumes that each individual has certain individual rights. Each person has privileges, the recognition and respect of which influence the development of assertive skills. If we know our own rights it helps us to change our self-image and thus change our attitude towards other people and our environment."[2]

To put it simply, to be assertive means that we are able to express not only our opposition, but also our opinion, attitude or rebuke in a balanced way, that is, without unnecessary shouting, or in the other way, without “breaking” our voice. It is having a certain kind of courage that allows us to do so. Although, we are taught from childhood that “assertiveness=no”, this is not the case, this is not the whole truth about this skill. Lack of innate assertiveness can cause problems in public or private life.

Starting from school years, there are often situations in which we are put against the wall, a group of people stand and smoke cigarettes, often one person who does not smoke is persuaded and finally gives in, another situation is at parties, when a similar pattern plays out with alcohol, for example. Without developing this trait in ourselves, it may be similar at work we may be treated unfairly, but we won't say anything when we miss out on another promotion or when we collect another “roundup” for an offense that is not our own.

One can easily behave assertively to immediate family members, but when dealing with other, strangers, such behavior is almost impossible. So assertiveness training can help, make us show assertive attitudes more and more often. Acquiring these skills does not mean that we always have to be assertive. Because of our participation in society, we need to be prepared for situations in which an aggressive response will be appropriate, for example, when something threatens our lives or property. Assertiveness in this case also means being able to judge a given situation in which it is appropriate to adopt an assertive attitude.

Acquiring the ability to behave assertively allows you to clearly express your needs, but it is important to remember that it will not guarantee their satisfaction. Assertive behavior provides an opportunity to compromise and negotiate on an issue than will give a clear victory. The fact is that assertive people are usually confident, happy, professionally fulfilled people.

Being assertive can mean, accepting behavior such that not everyone will be nice and polite to us. Acquiring the skill of assertive behavior also develops in us the ability to perceive the situation, whether one is being used or disrespected, but also gives us the opportunity to learn how to deal with unfair criticism and abuse. Assertiveness is a term for communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive.[2] The ability to behave assertively is very useful at work, especially for executives, who face problems on a daily basis regarding the goals set but concerning in their job responsibilities managers and lower-level employees.

Managerial effectiveness is the hope for economic productivity and social capability.[3] However, an effective manager is not possible without qualities such as:

- creativity,

- intelligence,

- ability to think analytically,

- ability to draw logical conclusions,

- strong personality,

- leadership skills,

- ability to communicate with staff, understand their needs and show them appreciation,

- sense of social responsibility,

- ability to create an atmosphere of motivation for work and to take care of the right work atmosphere,

- involvement in problems and willingness to bear risks and responsibilities,

- Attention to common interests, values,

- ability to calculate and analyze the level of risk,

- ability to respond quickly to opportunities;

- concentration of activities on the basis of established priorities, perseverance and persistence in pursuit of set goals,

- The ability to operate under pressure from outside and to maintain agility in tense situations and to be aware of the limits of one's own capabilities,

- The ability to deal honestly with other partners, creating an atmosphere of honesty and openness, expressing one's thoughts clearly,

- self-esteem, self-confidence,

- having a vision for the development of the company and understanding the need for change as a basis for creative and profitable activities, and combining current and prospective issues,

- feeling the need to supplement the knowledge already acquired, expanding practical managerial skills and striving to achieve a high level of professionalism."[4]

However, every manager, even the best one, should implement assertive behavior into his or her actions in the professional field, the biggest trouble may be, for example: the ability to say no. Managers who never say no because the word “ no” is associated with too much discomfort. They may be taken advantage of by subordinates, such a situation intensifies the feeling of being wronged and of having less value for their abilities compared to others, they may withdraw and feel resentment and anger towards themselves because they were unable to say “no”. To master saying “no” is to add justification for this decision, adding the form: “I prefer because in my experience ...” or ‘My principles ...’. Another method is the “broken record” technique. If the persuasion is repeated, you should repeat your, same argument, based on one, true justification and hard, repeat it. This technique causes the denier to become stronger in his refusal, upholds the decision and emphasizes the validity. If, on the other hand, new reasons are invented again and again for not doing something, credibility is lost, there is a weakening in the refusal, and the person who insists usually gets the energy to persuade further as a result, the whole conversation is prolonged. In the assertive refusal technique, it is not worth using the words “I must”, “I should” or “I can't”, as they indicate that we are not the ones making the decision. In such a situation, it is better to use the words: “I decide”, ‘I decide’, ‘I plan’, ‘we will do so:’ then the refusal is definitely convincing, it shows the manager in a leadership position. Assertiveness is also about expressing requests and expectations. Expressing requests, gives the other party the right to refuse. A refusal response can only be information that leads to finding an alternative solution. Thus, a manager who masters the assertive way of expressing requests and expectations can prepare the backstory before the conversation, that is, answer the question, “What can happen if I don't get the intended goal?”. In this method, you can present the request and briefly justify it. The subordinate's inquiry must ask for her decision on the matter. If the answer is not clear, the manager inquires, it is possible to postpone the decision but with a specific deadline to continue the topic of conversation.

Assertive issuance of commands, in this case, the manager must indicate who is the sender of the command, should address the addressee directly, explains exactly what the command is about and the time or deadline for execution. When expressing opinions, a manager who behaves assertively will communicate by his behavior that he has the right to express his views in a way that will not hurt the feelings of others. It is not necessary to prove, views better to say something from yourself. Expressing one's preferences is an effective defense against pressure to change one's views. Use the phrases:” this is what I think” ,“ ‘this is exactly what I like’,” this is what I like” ‘I feel it is a good idea’. There are people who perceive criticism, not as an opinion of others about them, but as an expression of the truth. In such a situation, hearing an opinion that does not agree with theirs, they multiply arguments, begin to attack or justify themselves. The moment we relate to the opinions of others but in an assertive manner, we adopt an attitude that means accepting ourselves with all the advantages and disadvantages. In such a situation, we can treat the evaluation of others, whether positive or negative, not as the truth, but as one of many possible opinions with which we can agree or disagree. Treating such an evaluation as an opinion, then, means accepting that someone may simply have a different opinion about us than we do. We also have the option of agreeing with the person who tells us his or her opinion using the form: “I think alike“,” I agree with the opinion” or not ‘I have a different opinion on the subject’, ‘I disagree’.

Assertiveness is a skill that makes it easier for a manager to set limits, respect the set boundaries, develop respect for the decision maker and subordinates. Using the power of attention, the manager focuses first on what he or she expects, and then expresses his or her desires in a direct manner. Assertive behavior will allow a manager to establish relationships with other people, based on mutual respect and acceptance. Learning the techniques of assertive behavior and putting them into practice will reduce stress."[5]

Every manager is different, approaches the subject differently, they differ in character, style of dress or appearance. Although it is important to start with the fact that each of them should have a range of different skills, because not for every job you need the same set, the basic division is between “hard” and “soft” skills.[4]

1. “Hard skills primarily refer to knowledge of work procedures for specific jobs, i.e. professional and technical skills

2. soft skills include a set of psycho-physical characteristics and social skills. They focus on a person's behavior, attitudes, way of being. They mainly concern self-management, motivation and interpersonal skills."[5]

What are the characteristics of hard skills: specific knowledge and specialized competence, they are easily verifiable, they are often related to one profession, thanks to them you can perform your tasks well. Their main feature is that they can be acquired relatively easily, while what distinguishes soft skills? Here we can say that these are internal-personal, interpersonal skills. Thanks to them it is easy to find oneself in different situations or positions, thanks to them it is easier to cooperate with others, easier to establish contact, a person is more open. With these skills, in the main, you need to be born, because they are usually not acquired, or it is difficult to acquire them because they are associated with the “inner self”. If we have certain character traits it is hard to get rid of them, empathy can be singled out, which is a very subjective trait. [6]

Manager and assertiveness

A good manager should be confident, experienced, easy to relate to, or assertive. Most of the qualities of a good manager are soft qualities, that is, they involve working with people in a literal sense, that is, a manager does not lock himself in the office at 8:00 am and leave at 4:00 pm only tries to talk, help, resolve conflicts. With this style of management, subordinates see someone who does not stand so much as above them, but beside them, they know that they are walking hand in hand in one clear direction, which was imposed in cooperation with them. An assertive person, when a problem arises, faces it “face to face” and tries to solve it as soon as possible because he knows that sweeping problems under the rug or putting them off for later causes the whole company to stumble over this protuberant carpet later.

It is very important to have a clear and transparent flow of information, if a person has done something wrong, it is important to inform him quickly and in person, and not through snail mail about his reprimand, as such behavior causes unnecessary stress and contentious situations

Another important, and difficult, point is the ability to criticize, constructive criticism. A confident and assertive person knows how to give information, i.e. the ability to choose words that will fit the situation best, but on the other hand will be clear enough that there will not be a shred of doubt about what the superior meant. Usually when an employee is called “on the carpet” he knows what he was at fault for, but when the manager has a hearing among his subordinates, often the employee is ashamed that it came out that way because he knows that in some way he let the manager down, this is obviously due to the employee's respect for the supervisor, as well as the supervisor for the employee. [7]

Assertiveness is a very important and desirable trait among managers, this is because a good manager is like a good captain of a ship-helping others without considering his life, to sum up this person has an audience among employees and can motivate them to work at top speed thanks to his charisma and self-confidence. He does not create unnecessary conflicts, he presents his goals in a clear and understandable way, and he knows that only through proper cooperation is he able to achieve success.

Bibliography

1] (R. Alberti, M. Emmons, Asertywność, Sięgnij po to czego chcesz nie raniąc innych., GWP, Gdańsk, 2018, str. 55, Gdańsk 2018, str. 55)

[2] (R.J.Paterson, Jak być asertywnym? Trening, Helion, Gliwice 2007, str. 23)

[3] (P.F. Drucker, Menedżer skuteczny, Akademia Ekonomiczna, Kraków 1994, str. 186., 1994)

[4] (J. Penc, Nowe zarządzanie w nowej gospodarce, Wydawca: SLG ITC, Warszawa, 2010, str. 83-85)

[5] (https://www.szkola-liderow.eu/asertywnosc-i-stawianie-granic/ 24.01, 2021)

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