Double negotiations β when you're not really talking to the person who makes the decisions
One of the most frustrating situations in business:
You're conducting difficult negotiations, investing time, energy, and emotion. You reach an agreement. And then you hear:
π "I still have to consult with the board."
π "The boss will make the final decision."
π "Okay, but I'm not the one signing."
This is double negotiationβtalking to someone who is formally involved in the process, but the real decision is made elsewhere.
Why double negotiations are so difficult
No control over the real decision-maker
You can present arguments, build relationships, and work out the detailsβbut ultimately, someone else will make the decision.Interpretation filter
Your arguments are passed on, but through the prism of the emotions, priorities, and narrative of the intermediary.Risk of wasting time
Often, it takes weeks to realize that the "decision maker" was never on board.
The most common mistakes leaders make in such situations
Treating the intermediary as the decision-maker β and conducting the conversation as if they were the one making the decision.
Attempting to exert pressure β which has the opposite effect on the intermediary: they feel cornered and become defensive.
Lack of a second-layer strategy β negotiations end at the interlocutor level, and the decision-maker never hears your side of the story.
How to conduct double negotiations more wisely
Determine who really makes the decisions
At the beginning of the conversation, ask, "Who will be involved in the final decision?" β this changes the dynamics.Give tools to the intermediary
Instead of just trying to convince them, help them convince the others. Short summaries, data in a nutshell, clear arguments β all this makes it easier for them to convey your position.Build an alliance, not pressure
Treat the intermediary as a partner who is your ambassador, not as an obstacle. If they feel that you support their role, they will fight for your cause more effectively.
Case study: negotiations that were settled off the table
One of our clients, a sales director, was negotiating a contract with a large corporation. The talks were conducted by a middle manager.
At first, the client tried to "close" the deal on the spot β to no avail.
It was only when he changed his approach and started to build tools for the intermediary (short, powerful slides with arguments, simple calculations that the intermediary could take to the top) that the board's decision was made in his favor.
He did not win the conversation at the table. He won a conversation that did not even take place.
Summary
Double negotiations are the norm in large organizations.
It is a mistake to treat the intermediary as an obstacle rather than an ally.
The real power lies in building influence even where you are not physically present.
π If you want to learn how to conduct such conversations and build multi-layered strategies in negotiations, see what executive coaching with elements of negotiation looks like:
www.szkoleniaznegocjacji.com/executive-coaching
This is not about learning tricks. It is about developing skills that will make your arguments work even when you are not sitting in the same room with the decision-maker.
If you are looking for executive coaching in Poland, check our offer: