How to be a respected leader

The dream of those who hold a leadership position is to be an effective, well-liked and respected leader.

The most important role of a supervisor is first and foremost to be effective, competent and good at his duties. In a managerial position, empathy is very important, one should look at oneself through the eyes of an employee. Observe the behavior of others toward us. If we inspire fear, anxiety, trepidation among our employees, such a team will never be successful. It is much easier and more effective to undertake work with a leader who is a partner, sees the potential of colleagues, develops their talents, and is not a despot who limits people and does not notice them, causing them frustration. “Situations of frustration - those in which a person's activity to complete a task, achieve a goal or need has been interrupted by external or internal obstacles. Situations of frustration are also a state of situational discrepancy, when incoming data is not consistent with the data already possessed. A situation of frustration can also be a conflicting personality structure (mutually exclusive needs, e.g. dominance - submissiveness, expansion - shyness).” [1]. The respect that co-workers have for their supervisor is very important. Without it, the team will not succeed, will not fulfill its tasks.

In any work there are difficulties, crises, nervous situations, but if we show respect to each other then cooperation will develop in a good direction. This can be achieved by fulfilling many principles:

- don't throw your words to the wind, be sincere, inform in advance if you can't fulfill or implement a given word,

- remember that your employees also have important issues,

- be truthful, if you can't explain the truth then just say it,

- don't promise something you can't deliver,

- be responsible (including for your co-workers' mistakes),

- don't gossip,

- appreciate and praise your employees every day,

- be available to your co-workers if needed,

- have the courage to admit your mistakes and apologize for them,

- clearly construct what you approve or disapprove of,

- do not attribute the ideas of others as your own,

- have the courage to change your decisions and plans if necessary,

Fulfilling the above-mentioned principles will make us be seen as a good, professional leader - a person who knows, appreciates, notices other people's concerns, helps solve their problems, shows ways out, above all tries. A good leader is one who is effective, not one who “everyone tries” to like. A leader is not a cake - some people like meringue and others hate it.

None of us in our work likes to be criticized. If this is the case, the purpose of this criticism is to motivate the employee. However, keep in mind that you should not use open criticism, disparage the employee on the forum, because such treatment can have the opposite effect. Certainly, in public you should praise and never reprimand! Dr. Paulina Sobiczewska (head of the postgraduate program Practical Psychology of Motivation at the Faculty of Psychology in Warsaw) gave her take on constructive criticism. “Here are the four most common mistakes employers make in the area of criticism:

(a) Accumulating problems - failing to keep an employee informed about the quality of his work can result in rebellion or depression.

(b) Emphasizing negative feedback - marginalizing an employee's positive evaluation is bad for his motivation to work.

(c) Failure to tailor the message to the recipient.

(d) An 'unannounced card' policy - don't catch the employee in the act, let the employee know what will be evaluated."[2]

Every leader's biggest mistake is pushing down. Awareness that I have to do not only my work, but also that of others among other leaders works very demotivating. To avoid such situations, there should be a clear division of responsibilities in the team. According to research, more than 80% of civil servants do not know the scope of their duties, perform random tasks often as a legacy of a colleague. All this is the responsibility of the leader, as he is the one who distributes tasks and enforces them. If the employer objectively, fairly, factually assigns duties to his employees then he can compare the work of individual employees and improve it.

In our work we often see people we like more or less. With some we understand each other without words, others require a lot of attention. A professional leader never “segregates people” or shows the superiority of one employee over another. Everyone should be treated equally, because everyone has their own values, capabilities and career path. The task of any good leader is to understand employees, their strengths and weaknesses. The principle “separate the people from the problem” is excellent here. Do not show hostility to employees, attack them and humiliate them. It is necessary to solve the problems we face together.

An unacceptable situation in any team is the attribution of other people's ideas (theft). No self-respecting leader will ever do this, because he will realize how much he can lose in the eyes of his colleagues. It is much better and more honest to appreciate one's employee in a public forum, as this shows the creativity, creativity, innovation of the whole team. Such a team where positive attitudes are built and creative activities are motivated and the personal development of individual employees is nurtured will grow in the eyes of, for example, the management or the owner.

Everyone likes to be appreciated, praised, feel the positive support of a superior, because these are factors that motivate us to do good work, positive results and commitment. In addition to the financial motivator is a good word from the leader, his interest and attention to us. This is the strongest motivator, but on the other hand it turns out (research by Pracuj.pl and Tajning Partners) that it is the least frequently provided. There is nothing worse than a leader's failure to recognize and appreciate employees' efforts. Even the smallest commitment should be appreciated, people should be treated individually, trusted and honored. “Distrust tends to reduce the exchange of information and accompanying exchanges of signals. If trust is lacking, our behavior towards the interlocutor becomes conservative, we often shut down, blocking outside stimuli. We stop being spontaneous and creative, start having doubts about the interlocutor's intentions, and focus on controlling our speech and our behavior. And this is certainly not conducive to effective communication"([3]). To achieve this, you need to constantly raise the bar, exorbitant demands, set new goals and trust the employee to do well. This makes the employee aware that what he or she is doing is meaningful, is valuable to the doings of the entire company, the success and progress of people, and thus their well-being.

An important element in proper leader-employee cooperation is integration, a factor that unites and binds the team together. Integration should take place constantly, be a leading element in the work of the entire team (most often we understand it occasionally “at company events”).

Elements of team integration can include such elements:

- the opportunity to express an independent, honest opinion,

- respecting and taking into account the thesis of each speaker,

- opportunity for assertive behavior,

- the right to develop independently,

The leader, that is, the leader of each co-worker, should give the opportunity to apply the above elements, must be a mediator, strive for compromise, unite (integrate), not divide! “Communication is a specific social process, as it relates to at least two individuals and always takes place in a social environment. Communication occurs in a specific social context, determined by the number and nature of the participants in the process. It can be an interpersonal, group, institutional, public, mass or intercultural context. It is a creative process, involving the construction of new concepts and the acquisition of knowledge about the surrounding world[4]”. “Effective communication is fundamental in business, family and emotional situations. It is a key human skill."[5]

The role of a good leader is to properly organize the work in each company and for each employee. There must be clear, transparent and simple rules aimed at the expected result. The right kind of duties and their hierarchy (priorities and less important things) must be done. Never will a good leader use his position to achieve private goals. In the aforementioned situations, he will respect the assertiveness of employees. “Assertiveness is the behavior that enables a person to act in his own interest, to defend his rights without feeling fear. It is also the expression of one's thoughts, feelings and desires in a way that does not violate the rights of others. We behave assertively when we express our own work and feelings in an open, adequate, honest way using socially acceptable forms, while respecting other people's rights and feelings. By behaving in this way, we are able to firmly and boldly enforce from those around us what is rightfully ours without hurting other people.” [6]We have the right to live according to our own conscience, opinions and enjoy satisfaction in our daily and professional lives.

The elements that destroy a team from within are insinuation, uncertainty, lack of loyalty and gossip. There is nothing worse than a two-faced leader. Very often we have situations when a leader unwittingly introduces unhealthy rivalry and conflict into the team. This is a reprehensible attitude, because a good leader should look for solutions by observing others, and not introduce a bad atmosphere. Remember that people are the most important, not results, plans, numbers and money.

No one is born a leader. We achieve a professional position based on our experience. Hard work, positive attitude, ideas, creativity, good relations with others, honesty, proper communication, empathy, assertiveness and courage are the factors through which we can achieve success. It is important to recognize the other person, their strengths and weaknesses, worse and better days in what we do. One should build authority by honestly showing one's successes and failures. A good leader inspires and motivates employees, speaks from an “I” perspective, and abandons the “you” message. In this way, he builds his authority. Let's remember that a good leader is able to admit to a mistake (mistakes are not made by those who do nothing). A good leader can apologize. All this goes towards building a good, productive, mutually satisfying team.

[1] Sobczak-Matysiak J., 1998, Psychology of contact with the customer, Poznań, Publishing House of the Higher School of Banking, p. 61.

[2] Sobiczewska P., Blog of the psyche zone - publication.

[3] Kozyra B., 2019, Communication without barriers, Warsaw, MT Business, p. 133.

[4] Łasińska G., 2000, Art of presentation, Poznań, eMPi2 Publishing House, p. 12-13

[5] Kozyra B., 2019, Communication without barriers, Warsaw, MT Business, p. 44.

[6] Sobczak-Matysiak J., 1998, Psychology of contact with the client, Poznań, Publishing House of the Higher School of Banking, p. 34.

Take a look at our customized top-notch negotiation workshops, negotiation consulting and negotiation coaching services!

If you like learning online have a look at our Advanced online negotiation course and don’t forget to visit our leadership blog